HEARTLESS ALGORITHMS

Working Paper No. 14

Proof that programmatic algorithms are both brainless and heartless.

I know plenty of people have written scathingly about programmatic advertising but I thought I’d add to the canon by looking at it through the lens of three pop stars who committed suicide.

For reasons too tedious to explain, I’ve found myself having to listen to music via the internet lately.[1]

Perhaps you’re familiar with the Nirvana MTV Unplugged concert.

They perform track called ‘Come as you are’.

Kurt Cobain looks like this:

As you can see, he’s not washed his hair for a while.

These are abbreviated lyrics:

Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend
As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up
Choice is yours, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend

Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
And I swear that I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun

Before that song, I was confronted by an unskippable ad for Aussie shampoo and conditioner:

“Come as you are… Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach”.

Or,

“Take a rest as a friend… Come soaked in Aussie 3Minute Miracle”.

Less than 6months after the show, it turned out Cobain did have a gun, which he used to kill himself.

I think it unlikely that Aussie 3Minute Miracle could give his ‘hair life again’.

Full disclosure; I don’t use shampoo or conditioner. (I know, sorry.) But I have, for professional reasons searched for various brands in the dim and distant past, so this could be a function of some stale cookies.

But even if that’s true, would it be possible for anything to be more inappropriate to the ‘content’ that I was viewing?

Well let’s turn to Joy Division.

In between the recording and release of their second album – Closer – the lead singer, Ian Curtis hanged himself.

Here’s the cover of that album:

Even if you’re not acquainted with it, you can probably imagine that it’s not exactly a joyful record.

There’s a track on it called ‘Colony’.

Again, some sample lyrics:

A cry for help, a hint of anaesthesia
The sound from broken homes
We used to always meet here
As he lays asleep, she takes him in her arms
Some things I have to do, but I don't mean you harm

A worried parent's glance, a kiss, a last goodbye
Hands him the bag she packed, the tears she tries to hide
A cruel wind that blows down to our lunacy
And leaves him standing cold here in this colony

In case it’s not screamingly obvious, it’s a song about the break-up of a relationship.

And now an accompanying ad for something called Lumin; a men’s skincare range:

A stale cookie may be responsible for serving this up too, as I don’t use skin care either. (At this point, I feel the need to reassure you that I do use soap when I shower every day.)

Curtis is second from the left in this photo:

As you can see, he does have dark circles under his eyes.

Conceivably if he’d been using Lumin Dark Circle Defence his relationship wouldn’t have disintegrated and things might have turned out differently.

No that’s inconceivable.

Just as it’s inconceivable that anyone listening to ‘Colony’ would be in the market for that kind of gunk.

Think that’s bad?

In 1992, Manic Street Preachers released an album called Generation Terrorists.

Here’s an accompanying ‘generation terrorist’:

The track called ‘Stay Beautiful’, includes these lyrics:

Don't wanna see your face
Don't wanna hear your words
Why don't you just…
Don't wanna see your face
Don't wanna hear your words
Why don't you just…

With regard to Nigel Farage, I couldn’t agree more.

And I’m sure the Manic Street Preachers who are still alive – Richey Edwards is presumed to have thrown himself into the Severn river in 1995 – would concur; their politics are left-wing. And surely that’s true of 99% of their fans.

Once upon a time the advertising industry had a bunch of people called media planners. At their best, they were brilliant. Not only would they never allow this kind of thing to happen but they would use their brains and hearts to carefully choose programs that enhanced the advertising communication.

Now, instead, we have the alternative ‘brilliance’ of programmatic micro-targeting, which, according to one definition, “utilises data insights and algorithms to serve ads to the right users, at the right time, at the right price”. What is the right price if you’ve got the wrong users at the wrong time?

It seems that advertising, by replacing brains and hearts with algorithms, is intent on going the same way a Cobain, Curtis and Edwards.

[1] N.B. Don’t do this. Buy a record player and listen to vinyl.